I am Draco Malfoy
by Quidditchgurl260
Summary: Draco's life takes a dramatic turn when his father is put into Azkaban. It becomes so bad, he has to see a student psychiatrist.


I am Draco malfoy  
  
Christmas break just ended, and all the students are coming back to school. For me, Draco Malfoy, the break was going fairly well. The food was great, and so were the presents, and everything was all right.  
  
Except for my life. Ever since Potter put Father into Azkaban, I've been different. Everyday, I'd read the Daily Prophet expecting to see that Father and the rest of the Death Eaters have escaped; only to see they haven't. My life has been going downhill. My grades, everything. My wrath towards Potter only increases every time I see his scar headed face. It'll come out some day, my anger will. I know it. And if it does, muggle-lover Dumbledore will send me to St. Mungo's insane asylum.  
  
That's where a miracle happened. Posted in the great hall, was this sign:  
  
Are you feeling angry?  
  
Scared? Or just totally out of it? Then see Sierra Wood for expert help  
  
A psychiatrist. That's what I needed. So after dinner, I caught her on the way to the library.  
  
"Hi Draco!" she said cheerfully. Unlike a Gryffindor, she never called me 'Malfoy'. She had some kind of respect for me, for once. She was always happy. I wish I could be.  
  
"Hi Sierra," I said, not wanting to appear soft in any way. "I need help."  
  
"Okay," she said. She opened an agenda and flipped through several pages before she found an empty space. She must be really good then.  
  
"How about Friday night at 8:00 pm in the Room of Requirements?" she said. She must know I wanted this to be private.  
  
"That's fine," I said. Today was Thursday, and I needed to get started fast.  
  
"Great! See you then!" she said, and walked away. My heart pounded faster. What if the school found out that I was seeing a psychiatrist? I was so stupid! But I had to get better some way or another.  
  
Friday went by slowly as I awaited the night. Why does time slow down when you want something to come?  
  
Finally, 8:00 came. I left the Common Room to the Room of Requirements. When I came in, Sierra was sitting on a cushion, and there was one right in front of her for me. She was writing something in her notebook, and then looked up.  
  
"Hi Draco!" she said. "Come and sit down, and we can talk."  
  
I sat down on a cushion right in front of her.  
  
"Are you nervous?" she asked.  
  
"No," I lied.  
  
"That's good. I don't want you to be. So, how's your day going so far?"  
  
"It's all been crap," I said. She smiled and glanced down at her notebook.  
  
"So is every day crappy?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Every day is the same old thing. Only the lessons ever change at all."  
  
"So you feel bored?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
Sierra paused. "I want you to know, Draco, that you can trust me. Never will I tell anyone what happened here today. Not even with a wand pointed to my head. That's why I scheduled to be so late.  
  
"So tell me, when you get up in the morning, how do you feel?"  
  
I paused. I should tell her, I mean, she's trying to help me after all.  
  
"It hurts."  
  
"What hurts you?"  
  
"Everything!" I shouted, now standing up. "Ever since Father got put into Azkaban, everything just went sour!"  
  
Vases stood on the stands beside me, and I crashed them all to the floor. It made me feel better, but only just.  
  
Sierra got up. She carefully took me by my hand and led me to our seats. She held my hand! Who does she think she is?  
  
"So you're obviously furious about this," Sierra said, jotting notes down. "What was it like over the summer vacation for you?"  
  
I reflected back. "It wasn't the same. It was different. Mother was crying. She really missed Father. So did I. Erm.I actually was plotting about how I could get back to Potter. He always has to be every one's hero! Saint Potter coming to save the day! He loves being famous!" I tried to be careful about what I say. After all, she is in league with Potter.  
  
Sierra dropped her quill and looked right into my eyes, as though searching for something.  
  
"So almost all of this revolves around Harry," she said. "At least, that's only the outside. Be honest; are you faking it when you are socializing?"  
  
"Faking it?" I said hotly. "Faking what?"  
  
"When you're with a group of Slytherins, you jeer at everyone who's your rival. You act impressive. Is that really you?"  
  
I opened my mouth to answer "yes!" but something had stopped me. I hated to admit it, but I really was just acting the way everyone wanted me to act.  
  
"Are you saying you want me to change?"  
  
"What do you think? Do you enjoy hiding behind a sneer all the time?"  
  
I scowled at her. "I'm fine with it."  
  
She raised her eyebrows as if to say, "If that's what you really want."  
  
"What?" I said, anger rising. "Do you want me to change?"  
  
"I don't know. Do you?" She said, slapping the question right back at me.  
  
"What do you think?" I said, barring my teeth.  
  
"I think that if you were to show yourself, your popularity would go way down, and you would be laughed at. And if you became a good boy, well, it would in fact be quite scary if all of a sudden you were kind to Harry."  
  
"Potter!" I said. "I'll never be good to him! I'll die before I do!"  
  
Sierra picked up her quill. "Harry does seem to be quite a problem to you. What do you hate about him the most?"  
  
I really had to ponder on this one. To pick a single thing I hated about Potter was like finding a needle in a haystack. But then I chose something.  
  
"I hate how he has to be everyone's hero. He thinks he's such a big shot, when he's an ignorant scar-headed git! He gets so much stupid attention, and for what? Because he got lucky a few times? Every time he gets in trouble, he just gets praised! He should've been expelled as soon as he set foot at Hogwarts!" I was on fire now.  
  
Sierra looked quite impressed. "You know Draco, if I asked Harry the same question I asked you, he would probably say almost the exact same thing about you. He's also going through a tough time. He hates being famous. He doesn't like all the attention he gets, and doesn't like the fact that everything happens to him."  
  
"So?" I snapped. "What's your point?"  
  
"Don't you see? You and Harry have more in common than you think."  
  
I didn't like the observation she just made. I didn't like to admit it, either. I wanted to be as far away from Potter as possible, not as close!  
  
"Sorry," Sierra said. Unlike other people, she actually meant it. "I know you don't like it, and I guess I wouldn't either, but I just thought you ought to look at it." Sierra checked her watch and leaped up. "Oh my gosh! We're going to have to stop." She gathered her things and turned to me.  
  
"When will we meet again?" I asked.  
  
She looked through her agenda. "Same time next week?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Great!" she said. "Good luck!" She left the Room of Requirements, heading for her next person.  
  
I left the Room thinking about what we had just talked about. We didn't seem to have gotten to much.  
  
The next week was the same thing. It was until I received the worse letter anybody could receive. I was having dinner in the Great Hall. It was raining outside. My eagle owl entered the Hall. Everyone followed him with their eyes, for it was strange to receive mail at this time of day. When the letter landed on my plate, I knew at once it was bad. It was entirely black. Someone I know died, and everybody knew that. Trembling, I opened the letter. I only read the first half when I could take no more. I stuffed the letter into my pocket, and hurried out of the Great Hall, and onto the Hogwarts Grounds. The rain splashed upon my face like lead beads. I looked into the sky. Dead. My beloved mother was dead. Someone unknown to anyone murdered her. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it had. I heard someone come running up to me.  
  
"Draco?" It was Sierra. I turned around. I was preparing to tell her what happened, when all of a sudden, every memory I had that involved fear, hate, anger, and sorrow flashed before my eyes. My heart pounded. My breathing grew heavy. I fell on my knees. Sierra caught me. I gripped onto her arms for support and looked up at her. But not for long. Very slowly, everything faded. I could not hear.I could not see.I could not feel.I could not breathe.I could not live.  
  
End 


End file.
